When Hopes are Dashed: Personal Failure and the Providence of God in the Life of David Brainerd
His earliest upbringing was of a strict Puritan nature. His father Hezekiah was a Connecticut legislator with rigid Puritan views of authority and discipline in the home. At the age of nine his father died and just four years later his mother as well. Being fourteen when his mother died, he went to live with his married sister Jerusha, just across the river in East Haddam. He described his religion during those days as being very careful and serious, but having no true grace. At nineteen he inherited a farm and moved a few miles west to Durham to try his hand at farming, but his heart was not in it. What he longed for was what he called a “liberal education” (what he meant by “liberal” was thorough and extensive). It was on the farm that he made a commitment to God to become a minister while he was yet unconverted. It was during this year on the farm that he read through the Bible twice and he began to see that all his religion was legalistic and based on his own efforts. Internally, he hated the ideas of original sin and the sovereignty of God and the strictness of the Law, and he quarreled with God about his own inability to commend himself to God.
In 1738, at twenty years of age, he moved back to East Haddam and began to prepare himself to enter Yale. On July 12, 1739 he was given the grace of the new birth.
As I was walking in a dark thick grave, "unspeakable glory" seemed to open
to the view and apprehension of my soul ... It was a new inward apprehension or
view that I had of God; such as I never had before, nor anything that I had the
least remembrance of it. So that I stood still and wondered and admired ... I
had now no particular apprehension of any one person of the Trinity, either the
Father, Son, or Holy Spirit, but it appeared to be divine glory and splendor
that I then beheld. And my soul "rejoiced wit joy unspeakable" to see such a
God, such a glorious divine being, and I was inwardly pleased and satisfied that
he should be God over all forever and ever. My soul was so captivated and
delighted with the excellency, the loveliness and the greatness and other
perfections of God that I was even swallowed up in him, at least to that degree
that I had no thought, as I remember at first, about my own salvation or scarce
that there was such a creature as I.
Thus the Lord, I trust, brought me to a hearty desire to exalt him, to
set him on the throne and to "seek first his Kingdom," i.e. principally and
ultimately to aim at his honor and glory as the King and sovereign of the
universe, which is the foundation of the religion of Jesus ... I felt myself in
a new world.[1]
Two months later he entered Yale to prepare for the ministry. Within one year he was sent home from school because he was so sick that he was spitting up blood. He was already infected with the tuberculosis which he would die from seven years later. When he returned to Yale in 1740, George Whitefield had been there and the spiritual climate had radically changed. Many students were now serious about their faith and tensions were rising between some of the less-excited faculty and the newly-awakened students. Some students had been so bold as to assert that some of the faculty were unconverted. In 1742 and at the top of his class academically, Brainerd was overhead saying of one of his tutors, Chauncey Whittelsey, that he had “no more grace than a chair”. As a result, in 1742 he was expelled. Over the next several years he would diligently pursue reconciliation in order to continue his education but to no avail. This seemed to Brainerd to be mortal blow to his intentions toward a pastorate, for it was a law at the time that no minister could be installed in Connecticut who had not graduated from Harvard, Yale, or an European university. Brainerd’s hopes for ministry were dashed to pieces, so it would seem.
God had another plan for David Brainerd, and David Brainerd would grow to embrace it. Jonathan Dickinson, a leading Presbyterian minister in New Jersey took an interest in Brainerd and had a hand in sponsoring him as a missionary to the Indians. In 1743 he would go to the Housatonic Indians northwest of Stockbridge, Massachusetts and preach through an interpreter to them for a year, translating some Psalms and starting a school for children. In 1745 he would make his first preaching tour to the Indians around Crossweeksung , New Jersey, and it was here that God would move in amazing power and pour out a great awakening among the Indians. Within a year there was a growing and healthy assembly of 130 believers. In 1746 Brainerd grew so sick that he could no longer minister to them, and he took leave of them in order to recuperate at Jonathan Dickinson’s home. He would return to see his Indian friends one last time in 1747, and then ride on to Jonathan Edwards’ home where he would die.
Twenty nine years, five months, and nineteen days. Only eight of those years a believer, and only four of those eight a missionary. There are tremendous lessons for us to learn from the life of David Brainerd. God uses sickly, weak, discouraged, beaten-down saints who cry out to Him to magnify the glory of his name in missions. There are some Indians, maybe a couple hundred, whose souls were transferred from everlasting torment to everlasting life because of David Brainerd’s preaching and ministry. There are still “Indians” perishing today all around. Could it be that God wants you to follow Brainerd’s example?
[1] From The Life of David Brainerd, ed. Norman Pettit, The Works of Jonathan Edwards, Vol. 7, (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1985)

